February 15, 2007
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Tad
I traveled with friends to Ellendale, North Dakota. - Trinity Bible School. We had a planning meeting for kid’s camp for this summer. It was a great meeting. I enjoyed spending a little time with my daughter also – she’s going to college there.
Who said this? ”We must not create an atmosphere of sadness in the White House because this would not be good for anyone – not for the country.” obvious hint: It was a President.
Tad Lincoln, son of Abraham Lincoln. Tad was slightly mentally disabled or in today’s terms cognisant delayed. What made him so great, in my eyes, was the greatness of his Dad. Tad could talk to his Dad at any time and Tad did. One particular time was during a war meeting. Tad wanted the advice of his father, President Lincoln. Tad marched into where his Dad was having a Civil War meeting with his Generals. President Lincoln stopped and asked Tad what he needed. Tad said, “Dad, I have a problem.” “A soldier deserted:; should he be executed?” Abraham looked at his son and said, “Son, pardons are good.” With his problem solved, Tad went back to playing. That’s the kind of Dad President Lincoln was.
I was greatly affected by a fellow xangan when I read her comments. (This is the anniversary of her Father’s death.) I couldn’t help but think of Mary Lincoln. Her precious “Tad” died on July 15 1881. One year later, on his death’s anniversary, she collapsed in her bedroom and fell into a coma, and passed away the next morning. Anniversary’s are very difficult. I’ll never forget the words of Abraham Lincoln to his son Robert. “Son, don’t let Mom cry too much.” From what I’ve read, Mary didn’t know how to grieve. She bottled everything inside. Talk about the pain. Talk about the person. I know it hurts but talk.
Who in your life has died and how has it affected you?
Comments (47)
Great entry! I wish more dads were more like Lincoln. Thank you for putting something out there to make your readers think. Pravo good man, I say Pravo!
~Bernadette
ryc – those are all good things to love
very interesting
hope you had a great valentines day!
I’d like to think I’m a good parent – however, there are times when I fail that I just don’t like myself very much. I do know though that I need to work more on LISTENING to my kids, and paying them more attention – I should never be “busy” cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing – those things are there forever, they aren’t! As for the fatherly figures…..it’s important to have a good dad, otherwise you’ll find it really hard to be a good dad. My husband didn’t have a very good dad, and instead of it making him want to be an awesome one, he struggles a lot. He’s still a “good” dad and loves our kids, but just hasn’t risen to the potential he has to be an AWESOME daddy – THANK HEAVENS FOR GOD THE FATHER! My kids know they’re loved and secure no matter what!
I’m a mean parents..lol..j/k..I’m disciplinary kind but can be passive as well.
The one you speaking about is called tappenkay which they cook in front and entertain you . but the one i went to was menu order. I don’t like to eat anything raw unless it shrimp, my hubby like sashimi (raw fish or tuna) he would dip into wasibi and soy sauce.
my stepfather recently passed and i’ve been dreaming about him
it’s been very difficult without him.
There have been many people I have dearly loved and lost to death. I shall always miss my younger sister. She was my best friend, and after that dimensional change, I guess she still remains my very best favorite “girlfriend” in the whole world. My memory is lovingly fond and vivid of my extraordiary sister. I still recall our converstations about important things…she was such a rock of good, moral sense. God called her home suddenly on June 11th, 1988. She was only 39 and died of a rare kind of stroke. She was tall, slim and absolutely beautiful on the exterior. She was most kind, most generous and most compassionate on the interior, with an exceptional sense of logic. She summarily had it all and then God called her back Home. I cannot fathom it’s been nearly 19 years since her death. But, perhaps, that is what “legacy” is all about, in the final, human analysis…how another human being affected those who have been momentarily left behind. Her memory remains alive and well. Her beauty of not only looks, but of “character” is well remembered by all those who knew and loved her. We shall meet again.
my dad passed away for 3months now and I still feel like he didn’t. I miss him more then this world worth.
Tad was the witness or (within minutes of seeing) to three presidential assassinations (or attempts) including his father’s. I think I might be a little off, too.
ryc: We’re showing more snow on Saturday. And no temps rising above freezing for at least another week, but I’m going to go with believing you
RISE AND SHINE AND GIVE GOD THE GLORY GLORY RISE AND SHINE AND GIVE GOD THE GLORY GLORY RISE AND SHINE AND GIVE GOD THE GLORY GLORY CHILDREN OF THE LORD!
Laura ^^^ (music) just gave me the same comment.
On my list, your entry is just above awishforyou . Her father died last night is what her entry says.
RYC: Thank you for your sentiments. The sadness is gone….replaced, through the grace of Jesus Christ…with the joy of “why” He called my sister back Home to Him. We are all destined to die…that is assured! It is how and what we did with the time allotted to us which determines our final destination. My sister did (as in “doing”) such a memorable life that, even today, I hear her beautiful voice, cajoling and counseling me. What an incredible memory she left me with….all of us. God bless her soul! To share her memory is my joy!!!
GraceAnn
Lot of folks grieving. This is a great post. Lot of folks have died, but I think the person whose absence affects me most is one I lost to causes other than death.
My gram has been gone for almost 7 years now. She raised me, and I was really close to her. I still grieve for her today. There isn’t a day where I don’t think about her. And sometimes all it takes is hearing her name or smelling her perfume to upset me.
I’ve been to lots of funerals. I’ve had all of my grandparents die. They each affected me a different way. The Lincoln memorial and museum in Illinois is cool! There is lots of info on Lincoln and Tad. Fun stuff.
My Gram died two years ago in April. the kids and I went to her house once a week for five years… I still feel a giant hole in my days when something happens and I want to call her… she isn’t there and I always feel like there’s something I should be doing on Fridays but I’m not…
It is not a fun feeling.
Of course I wouldn’t trade any one of those Fridays. At first I remember thinking I wish I didn ‘t have to go… as I loaded baby stuff into the car and out of it as we did her various errands… after a couple of months I looked forward to the adult conversation and just time with her. Now I know how truly blessed I was to be able to spend that time with her.
Ang
My grandfather, he’s a great man =)
I think a guy called Sean who always loved to party. Most of our group became Christians. I did not at that time and neither did Sean. He kept saying he was young and he had plenty of time and then he was in a car accident and died. Its ten years now and his death still hurts me.
who is this?
thankxx hope you have a good day too
My brother died when I was 9. It completely changed my idea on what it is to live a meaningful life and how small things you do can have a large impact on others. Most kids go through their teenage years feeling invincible and I lost that very early on. The way I make big decisions are very different now.
What a thought-provoking post. Even though most of us have accepted the fact that as mere mortals, we and all of those we love will die someday, it is still hard to accept when it happens. As a church deacon, one of my “duties” is to visit the ill & dying. I have gotten far more FROM them than I felt like I have ever given TO them. Life gets distilled down it’s very essence at the very end–some of the insights they have shared were very meaningful to me. Often times, it is even a bit of a blessing to see them finally released from their earthly bodies (as it was for my father) where they have been dealing with a lot of pain & suffering–some for a very long time. It is those unexpected ones (like my brother who died at the age I am right now) that don’t seem to make much sense to me. I do cherish the time that the rest of our family had those days after to celebrate him & reconnect with each other, though….
ryc: Funny thing you should pick the topic you did when I got around to answering your reply. I made most of my “rescue stops” along a main road where a lot of car repair shops are after remembering how the fellas in my father’s body shop had a tough time getting done with their work, grabbing a bite to eat, getting cleaned up enough to get to someplace decent before they were closed to purchase something for their wives and/or children if something was required in the middle of the week…..
My dad died when I was young (33)… I like this quote that one of my siblings sent about our dad, “It is a strange sensation to profoundly love and hate someone at the same time?” I suppose I had some unresolved issues from childhood… I know my kids are missing out, he was a better grand-dad than a dad and that’s okay…
Abraham Lincoln was from KY…my home state. Greatest president of all time. Savior of the union.
Anyway, grandmother passed away before I could go back home and see her one last time. It’s one of the great tragedies of my life.
So many people in my life have died…family members, neighbors, friends….from the ages of 2 days old, to two years old, to 20, to 42…to 54…to 85 years old and every age in between.
When they are believers it’s a bit easier to deal with. But it is always hard to lose someone you love. What I’ve found is that God is most definitely the God of comfort. I don’t forget about those people and I haven’t ever “gotten over” their passing…but with time, and God’s help, I have learned to live without them.
I have always been fascinated by Lincoln’s life and especially the tragedy he endured. What an amazing man!
My dad was very much like, very opposite of my mother. He is always on my mind and siblings too. We always talk about him how he was always pleasant with us and my mother. He would never get mad, I think I saw him got mad only once and that was when my bro did not come home for a week and when he finally did he was so drunk, he couldn’t walk anymore. My father died 18 years ago, WOW! I guess I never really calculated that until now.
Your post is very interesting.
Hey Randy,
Man, I’m sorry your dad died so young!!
Nobody in my life that I was close to has died. (THANK GOD) but I’ve seen what it can do to people… But, I’m sure their in a better place, right?
Anyway, I hope you had a good Valentine’s Day! You and your wife do anything special?
Cool story about Abe and his son.
*smile*
-Miquelie.
My brother, Arthur, passed away December of 2004. It was and is the most painful thing I have ever gone through. We were really close, He was such an example to me and many others. He was only 23 and about to graduate from college. I miss him a lot, but even though he is gone – his memory is still very alive and still continues to be an example to me. Because of him, and the impact he had on me and on the people around him I have and am growing closer to Christ. We had to have 3 memorial services for him, One here at school… One with my mom’s family in New Mexico and another one in Mexico. All 3 were equally a blessing. I still have people asking me if I am sister related to “Arthur” and when I tell them that I am – they tell me stories of how great of a friend he was. God is great!
Good post. I do hope you get to add Springfield to your list of places you have visited. God has blessed us with a hope for the future, a home with Him where all the tears are wiped away! I think maybe memories help ease some of the grief, but looking forward to Jesus coming back and taking us home helps ease the pain of the present loss.
I guess I see people dying more often than most. My experience, death from this life is not the worst thing that can happen. Often it is a release from pain and a life that will not get better.
Thanks for your thoughtful post.
Well, in the past 5 or 6 years a lot of people in my life have passed…one being my step-brother in Dec 2004, from skin cancer. I don’t think it changed me, just made me sad for a long time after. One that definitly made me be appalled at how cruel life can be was I think 4 years ago when two very young brothers died when their mom’s house caught on fire and they went back in to get their sister. It turns out that their sister wasn’t even home but her car was in the drive-way so they thought she was asleep inside. What’s even more messed up is that the fire fighters heard one brother banging on the front door but they mistook where the sound was coming from and ran to the back. Anyways, I knew the older brother, such a great guy.
So many people have died in my life…there’s always been death around me since I was little so I’m kinda numb to it now. I know that sounds bad…I cry, I miss them, but I continue on with life.
ryc: I didn’t see the two hour 24 episode… I’m in Germany and I’m not really sure I want to start another season of that show… maybe if Jack died and Chloe O’Brian was really an evil mastermind who destroys LA, then, maybe, I’d start watching it…
Trivia: The actor (Lee Bergere) who played Abe Lincoln in the Star Trek episode, The Savage Curtain, died on Feb 01.
RYC: I got your e-mails. I’m actually doing quite well today…thanks. It has been a difficult day because of the annivarsary but I’m actually happy today which is weird haha My family is doing well today. I got a lot of hugs at school haha
Well…of course you know my Daddy passed away 6years ago from today [when I was 8years old] and it actually helped me get closer to God. It touched my heart because after my Daddy passed away my Dad’s brother, my uncle eric, got saved…which was awesome.
I do not understand what rights would be taken away from you if same-sex marriage was allowed. I believe that each church should have the power to choose themselves, as I believe in fredom of religion, so it wouldn’t take away that right. However, when aethiests can get married in a chapel in Vegas and receive rights, why can’t a gay couple in love? What rights would be denied you? The right to insurance? The right to hospital visits? Oh, wait — those are among the THOUSANDS of legal rights being denied to GLBT couples. What a shame you are a pastor, because you, sir, are a bigot.
Abraham Lincoln is one my most favorite people.
Interesting story about him~ doesn’t relate to anything but watever~
I think I read somewhere that when he was on his way to meet somebody, he stopped to help a pig was caught in something. A guy that went with him said told him that he was really kind. However Abraham said that he was selfish because he wanted to help the pig because it would make him feel better. (So I think he’s pretty humble)
Anyways yeah, he’s quite a cool guy. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that he was a good father.
Valentines was good. How was your valentines day?
Glad you liked the old fashion valentines. Judi
hellowe have been with out power for two days from the ice
When i was 6 my cousin died her name was mandy and she had CF she was only 5 and i was so lose to her i would always go to her house and play barbie and sometimes just watch TV the days she wasnt feeling very good but she slways seemed so happy and chearful i would somtimes not go to school because she wanted me to come over and play her favorite song was i wish i were a butterfly and at her funeral we sang that and after that i song i wouldnt talk to people about her very much it was so bad that my parents took me to a therapist for a year a two to cope because my parents didnt know what to do any more and to this day i still rememebr doing things with her and cry when i think of her and how much i miss her
I sometimes have problems listening to my kids and i need to work on that i dont know if it is because i am home 24/7 for 4years and i am only 23 and they just drive me nuts sometimes and i just want 10 minutes of peace for my self i feel i might not get so frustrated my little one goes to preschool next year. and i think moving around so much and not beening able to stay with a group of friends and then have to start the process all over again is getting to me also well enough rambling have a great rest of the day
My best friend died of cancer at age 30. I was pregnant with my first child. Had been with her and supporting her all the way thru this huge challenge. I think she knew that she was going to die.
How did it affect me?? I’m grateful for every year beyond 30. I appreciate my friends more and I will never have a “complete” heart again..a little chunk of my heart died with her. I write about this experience in my blog.
ryc: glad that you like my match and mountaintop poems. I never was big on poetry when I was young, but it is a good release for some of my thoughts and emotions.
Come back anytime. I always appreciate a fan.
Christy
How about you? Have you lost anyone and how has that changed your life?
Christy
Yeah I feel like if somebody went through the same thing as me I can talk about it better and yeah my mother and I got closer since then which I guess can be a good thing, Have a good night and I will talk to you tomorrow!!
I never thought about Abraham Lincolns children till now… I am curious enough to do a little research… thank you.
Randy,
I can guess that 10 y/o is a very difficult time to lose your dad.. (and there is no good time to lose a parent) Probably has affected your entire life in one way or another. Hopefully, your family is generous with their memories of your father. I’m sure you would want to meet him..And, I’m sure that you will one day if you believe in that.
I just read a very good book about a man who dies in a horrendous traffic accident and then comes back to earth..True story. It’s called “90 Minutes in Heaven”. Very good book. If you read it , let me know what you think of it ..
I once had a social studies teacher in 8th grade who adored Abraham Lincoln. I’ll never forget how fondly Mr Badders spoke of this President.
come back. I enjoy visitors.
Christy
My Grandad died about two years ago.
The peace he had made me think, a lot.
It drew me to God – to get the peace and security in life and death through His grace.
Thanks i thought they were cute