Month: May 2007

  • Animals

    The Dog in the Bible
    In the fifty-ninth Psalm you will find the verse: “They return at evening; they make a noise like a dog, and go round about the city,”-and a little farther on you will see, “Let them wander up and down for meat, and grudge if they be not satisfied.” 
           There is a sad story in some of the chapters of the two books of Kings, in which you will find these dogs mentioned. There was a very proud and wicked queen, named Jezebel, and she tried to make her husband, king Ahab, do all the evil she could.
           Once Ahab wanted a piece of ground that was near his palace, so that he might have it made into a garden, and he asked the owner of it, whose name was Naboth, to sell it to him. But Naboth was not willing, because he used it for his vineyard, and because his father had given it to him before he died. Then Ahab was very angry about it, and acted just as I have seen some foolish children do when they were not pleased.
           He went into his great splendid house, and laid himself down on the bed; then he turned his face towards the wall, and when it was dinner time he would not get up or eat any thing. So his wife Jezebel asked him what was the matter; and when she found out, she told him that he need not be troubled, for she could get that vineyard for him. Then she contrived to have Naboth killed by stoning, and when he was dead king Ahab took the vineyard.
           After Ahab had taken the vineyard, God sent to him the prophet Elijah to say to him these words, “Thus saith the Lord, In the place where dogs licked the blood of Naboth, shall dogs lick thy blood, even thine.” And of Jezebel he said, “The dogs shall eat Jezebel by the wall of Jezreel.” 
    The word of God was fulfilled, just as he had said.

    City uses dog to chase away geese

    BRAMPTON, Ontario (UPI) — The City of Brampton in Canada is employing the services of a 2-year-old English springer spaniel to keep geese at bay in its public parks.

    The dog, Rocket, is employed by the city to annoy and chase the geese away — without hurting any of the birds — from areas that were previously minefields of droppings, the Toronto Star reported.

    “It makes the geese uncomfortable, but it doesn’t harm them in any way,” said Tamara Taylor, Brampton’s supervisor of animal services and Rocket’s owner.

    She said she opted to take the dog to Loafer’s Lake, Chinguacousy and Professor’s Lake to scare geese away rather than have the birds relocated — a process that could kill or injure the geese.

    “I knew he’d be fantastic at it,” she said. “He loves to chase birds because it’s his instinct.

    He knows he needs to be a working dog.”

    Police: Man used pigs to trash house

    EAGLE CREEK, Ore. (UPI) — Police were looking for an Oregon man who allegedly locked three pigs in his home hoping they would trash it after the house went into foreclosure.

    Detective Jim Strovink of the Clackamas County Sheriff’s Office said Shane Lovett of Eagle Creek had been distraught about the foreclosure and joked to neighbors he had locked the pigs in his home more than a week ago without any food or water, KGW-TV in Portland, Ore., reported.

    Deputies responded to a neighbor’s complaint about the pigs and found the inside and outside of the house had been trashed. Thomas Getten, an animal rescue expert, said the pigs were dehydrated but otherwise healthy after he coaxed them outside.

    The pigs had an escape route all along through the busted back door, but refused to make the jump to the patio below the door.

    The sheriff’s department was asking anyone with information about Lovett’s whereabouts to contact them.

  • Funny Year Book Quotes  

    Dr. Seuss
    Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.

    Sam Ewing, Readers Digest, Dec, 1997
    As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you’re grown up, a credit card does it.

    Ambrose Bierce
    Education: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

    Gracie Allen
    Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

    School Quotes
    Will Rogers
    There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

    Heinrich Heine
    If the Romans had been obliged to learn Latin, they would never have found time to conquer the world.

    Mark Twain
    In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

    Kid’s Quotes

    When your mother is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” it’s best not to answer her.
    Megham, age 13

    I’ll never take my mom’s car out again until I can do it legally.
    Lorie, age 14

    If you want something expensive, you should ask your grandparents.
    Matthew, age 12

    You should never laugh at your dad if he’s mad or screaming at you.
    Jogn, age 12

    You should never ask your three-year-old brother to hold a tomato.
    Alecia, age 12

  • Animals of the Bible

    Several years ago I taught a Christian style boy scouts.  It was called Royal Rangers.  One of the sections was on animals.  I enjoyed the study then and I’d like to share a little of that study now:

     ”Go to the ant, you lazy person; consider her ways, and be wise.” 
    Consider the ant:
    In some places you may see small ant-hills scattered about, so close together that you can hardly step without treading on them; and you may find other places where there are not so many, but where the hills are much larger.

    I’ve seen ant hills so large that it couldn’t be stepped over.
    And then how busy the little creatures are!
    Just kneel down on the grass beside them, and notice how they work!
    You will see one little fellow creeping along as fast as he can go, with a grain of sand in his mouth, perhaps as large as his head.
    He does not stop to rest, but when he has carried his grain to help build the hill, away he goes for another.
    You may watch them all day and never see them idle at all.
    The ants seem to be very happy, and I think it is because they are so busy.
    The inside of an ant-hill is very curious, but it is not easy to examine it without destroying all the work that the little insects have taken so much pains to finish.
    There is a kind of ant in warm climates that builds for itself hills as high as a man. They are not made of sand, but of a kind of clay; and have a great many cells or apartments, and many winding passages leading from one part to another.
    All this is done without “guide, overseer or ruler;” that is, they have no one to direct them how to do it.
    God gives them skill just as he does to the honey-bees in building the beautiful cells which you have so often admired; all His works are wonderful.

  • Happy Memorial Day
    Navy
    Today's Cartoon
    Army
    Today's Cartoon
    Marines
    Today's Cartoon
    Air Force
    457th Cartoon  
     

    Recruit Training

    In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military services, Congress has approved the following changes to basic principles of recruit training:

    HAIRCUTS:

    Marines: Heads will be shaved.
    Army: Stylish flat-top’s for all recruits.
    Navy: No haircut standard.
    Air Force: Complete makeovers as seen on the Jenny Jones show.

    TRAINING HOURS:

    Marines: Reveille at 0500, train until 2000.
    Army: Reveille at 0600, train until 1900.
    Navy: Get out of bed at 0900, train until 1100, lunch until 1300, train until 1600.
    Air Force: Awaken at 1000, breakfast in bed, train from 1100 to 1200, lunch at 1200, train from 1300 to 1400, nap at 1400, awaken from nap at 1500, training ceases at 1500.

    MEALS:

    Marines: Meals, Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day.
    Army: One hot meal, 2 MRE’s.
    Navy: 3 hot meals.
    Air Force: Catered meals prepared by the Galloping Gourmet, Julia Child, and Wolfgang Puck and Emeril Lagasse.  All you can eat.

    LEAVE and LIBERTY:

    Marines: None.
    Army: 4 hours a week.
    Navy: 2 days a week.
    Air Force: For every four hours of training, recruits will receive eight hours of leave and liberty.

    PROTOCOL:

    Marines: Will address all officers as “Sir,” and refer to the rank of all enlisted members when speaking to them (i.e., Sgt. Smith).
    Army: Will address all officers as “Sir,” unless they are friends, and will call all enlisted personnel “Sarge.”
    Navy: Will address all officers as “Skipper,” and all enlisted personnel as “Chief.”
    Air Force: All Air Force personnel shall be on a first name basis with each other.

    DECORATIONS/AWARDS:

    Marines: Medals and badges are awarded for acts of gallantry and bravery only.
    Army: Medals and badges are awarded for every bullet fired, hand grenade thrown, fitness test passed, and bed made.
    Navy: Will have ships’ engineers make medals for them as desired.
    Air Force: Will be issued all medals and badges, as they will most likely be awarded them at some point early in their careers anyway.

    CAMOUFLAGE UNIFORMS:

    Marines: Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.
    A
    rmy: Will wear it anytime, anywhere.
    Navy: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not camouflage you on a ship. (Ship Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.)
    Air Force: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons and colorful squadron patches all over them.

    CAREER FIELDS:

    Marines: All Marines shall be considered riflemen first and foremost.
    Army: It doesn’t matter, all career fields promote to E-8 in first enlistment anyway.
    Navy: Nobody knows. The Navy is still trying figure out what sailors in the ABH, SMC, BNC and BSN rates do anyway.
    Air Force: Every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow them to leave the service early to go on to higher paying civilian jobs.

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    –USAF reactions to this event follow:

    AETC: The purpose is to familiarize the chicken with road-crossing procedures.  Road-crossing should be performed only between the hours of sunset and sunrise. Solo chickens must have at least three miles of visibility and a safety observer.

    Spec Ops: The chicken crossed at a 90 degree angle to avoid prolonged exposure to a line of communication. To achieve maximum surprise, the chicken should have performed this maneuver at night using NVGs, preferably near a road bend in a valley.

    Command Post:   What chicken?

    Tower:The chicken was instructed to hold short of the road. This road-incursion incident was reported in a Hazardous Chicken Road-Crossing Report (HCRCR). Please re-emphasize that chickens are required to read back all hold short instructions.

    C-130 crewmember: Just put it in back and let’s go.

    Fighter dude:Look, dude, that was the frag, OK? I’ve flown my 1.0 for the day and I ain’t got time for anymore questions!

    B-1 crew: Missed the whole show–we had an IFE so we couldn’t get out to see it; You’ll have to ask the SOF.

    Congress: The chicken will do anything to get the C-17 and the F-22.

    Why did the Pheasant cross the road?
    To get to the middle.   (On the way back home I hit a pheasant that was in the middle of the road – I felt bad – Feathers went all over the place. )

  • Enjoy

    I’ve enjoyed this weekend.  The past week has been intense, at time very tense.  We’ve traveled several hours away from home and seen friends.  The kids went swiming last night and today we’re planning on going to church, steak buffet and then traveling home.  It’s been great. 

    My devotion today was in being in the “Sanctuary of God”.   I felt so much graditude for the sense of heaven in my life.  I so appreciate all the armed forces that has given me a country that I don’t have to always lock my doors. 

    Memorial Day use to be called Decoration Day
    Waterloo N.Y. was officially declared the birthplace of Memorial Day by President Lyndon Johnson in May 1966.

  • Teacher

    What the teacher says and (what the teacher means)

    1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.
    (He was caught cheating on a test).

    2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and viability.
    (The hyperactive monster can’t stay seated for five minutes).

    3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.
    (He’s definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met).

    4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don’t intimidate her.
    (The lazy thing hasn’t done one assignment all term).

    5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.
    (The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away).

    6. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
    (Your son needs to stop socializing and start working).

    7. Your daughter’s greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.
    (Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument).

    8. John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.
    (He’s a bully).

    9. An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.
    (Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond).

    10. I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.
    (She’s so immature that we’ve run out of diapers).

    11. Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.
    (He must have written the Whiner’s Guide).

    12. I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year’s repetition of her learning environment.
    (Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade).

    13. Her exuberant verbosity is awesome! (A mouth that never stops yacking).

    We’re headed out of town to a graduation.  It’ll be a fun time because we’ll all be together.  (That doesn’t happen very often.)  Have a great holiday weekend everyone. 

    What are your Memorial Day plans?

  • Supernova dazzles scientists

    Supernova dazzles scientists
    Scientists have just released images of the brightest stellar explosion recorded. The explosion could help astronomers better understand how the first generation of stars in the universe died. FULL STORY

    I was suppose to report for jury duty this morning.
    The court case was postponed.  

  • Saturn’s largest ring surprises scientists

    WASHINGTON (UPI) — NASA scientists say Saturn’s largest and most densely packed ring is composed of tightly packed clumps of particles separated by nearly empty gaps.

    The discovery that the clumps in Saturn’s B ring are neatly organized and constantly colliding, which surprised scientists, came from data returned by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration’s Cassini spacecraft.

    “The rings are different from the picture we had in our minds,” said Larry Esposito, the principal investigator for the Cassini ultraviolet imaging spectrograph that supplied the data. “We originally thought we would see a uniform cloud of particles. Instead we find that the particles are clumped together with empty spaces in between.

    “If you were flying under Saturn’s rings in an airplane, you would see these flashes of sunlight come through the gaps, followed by dark and so forth,” he added. “This is different from flying under a uniform cloud of particles.”

    Since previous interpretations assumed the ring particles were distributed uniformly, scientists underestimated the total mass of Saturn’s rings, NASA said. The mass might actually be two or more times previous estimates.

    A paper summarizing the findings appears in the journal Icarus.

    I’m off to do a Public School Assembly in Pipestone, MN – Character Connex.
    The Character Connex was so much fun.  We did 4 assemblies at 2 different Elementary Schools.  At the last school the kids were so excited.  It was great.

    I’ve been Tagged. Random Facts:
    1.  I have 8 children.
    2.  I’m a Children’s Pastor
    3.  I take care of the finances of 2 people. (Checkbooks)
    4.  I’m a CASA representative – Court Appointed Special Advocate for children.
    5.  I was made a legal guardian to a 18 year old girl with special needs.

  • Mark – This ones for you. 
    Today's Cartoon
    May Words, Any Words…
     
    May – can (might – could). May and might imply permission or possibility; can and could, ability or power.
  • You may send them the double-boot water ski on trial. (Permission.)
  • The report may be true. (Possibility.)
  • Can he present a workable schedule? (Has he the ability?)
  • Mrs. McNamara said I might (permission) have the time off if I could (had the ability to) finish my work in time.
  • Please call me if you think I can be of help. (Emphasizes the ability to help.)
  • Please call me if you think I may be of help. (Emphasizes the possibility of helping.)

    Maybe – may be. Maybe is an adverb, used to describe a verb, or an adjective, or another adverb; may be is a verb.
  • If we don’t receive a letter from them today, maybe (an adverb meaning “perhaps”) we should call.
  • Caspian (the fabulous post-rock band) may be (a verb) at Pianos in New York City this Saturday night.

    Anymore – any more.
  • We used to vacation in Barbados, but we don’t go there anymore (any longer.)
  • Please call me if you have any more (any additional) suggestions.

    Anytime – any time.
  • Come see us anytime you are in town. (One word meaning “whenever.”)
  • Did you have dealings with Sassafras at any time in the past? (Two words after a preposition such as at.)
  • Can you spend any time (any amount of time) with Matilda and me when you next come to Tangerine?

    Anyway – any way.
  • Anyway (in any case), we can’t go skiing now.
  • If we can help in any way (by any method), please phone.
    Source: The Gregg Reference Manual.
  • Barna’s Annual Tracking Study http://www.barna.org/

    The 2007 study showed that among the ten activities studied,
    Americans are most likely to pray. More than four out of every five Americans (83%) said they had prayed in the last week.
    This was followed by attending a church service (43%)
    and reading the Bible outside of church worship services (41%).
    Notably, just one-quarter of adults possess an active faith, meaning they engage in all three of these activities (pray, attend church, and read the Bible in a typical week).
    Slightly less than one-quarter of adults had volunteered free time to help a church (22%)
    or some other type of non-profit (23%) in the last week.
    About one-fifth of all adults had attended Sunday school (20%),
    while a similar proportion had participated in a small group for Bible study, prayer and Christian fellowship (19%). The survey showed that half of all adults (50%) said they had donated money to a congregation in the past year.

    Random Facts:
    10 percent of all human beings ever born are alive at this very moment.
    There are 60,000 miles of blood vessels in the human body.
    Your heart beats about 100,000 times in one day and about 35 million times in a year. During an average lifetime, the human heart will beat more than 2.5 billion times.

    Random Facts about me: (I’ve been tagged)
    I love to read historical novels.
    I analyze TV shows, looking for what’s wrong – like an jet stream in a western.
    I grew up in a gas station.
    I’m a Children’s Pastor
    (More later. – I’m headed to a Kid’s Camp planning meeting )