October 15, 2007
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Parenting Class
I teach parenting class on Sunday nights in my home. We discussed 3 points:
1. Realize your child is not an adult
2. Realize your child has the same feelings you have
3. Accept the responsibilities of parentingI’d love to hear your thoughts on 1 or more of those points.
Updated picture on bridge construction:
Comments (16)
Number 1 doesn’t apply to all children
Am I correct in assuming this class is from a BIBLICAL perspective? If so, I would start by acknowledging that Scripture is our ultimate authority in all that we learn. It will save problems later on! The issue of SIN, the fact that ALL of us (parents AND kids) are sinners, needs to be introduced into the discussion early on, also…..
Maybe the fact that kids need and want boundaries? It helps to keep them feeling safe. This was brought home to me when my oldest was getting ready f to pick a college… she said straight up that she wanted to commute, because she didn’t feel ready to be on her own… she still needed my rules… we gave her the extra time and now she is a wonderful mom!
I have never been a parent. I had good parents. I watch a lot of parents. Let me tell you about being an aunt, or a spinster, or an old maid…
when i was a young mom with three under 5, i took parenting classes….i was the only one there voluntarily though, which i thought was sad. i am glad i took those classes though, they helped me through some rough times.
it is hard to parent a child when you’re not grown up yourself and I really don’t know what the cure is except to let them the parents know that there is always someone there for them -you or another adult and just because the grandparents are around and helping them doesn’t mean they are adults.
We don’t hold ourselves to the same accountability we hold our children.
I have said this to several parents lately. Why is it that many parents only want to be friends with their kids? There’s plenty of time for friendship as adults, and only 18 (well, really only about 13) years to mold your child into a decent person. Do it now. I don’t want to have to be the teacher and the parent.
I took a parenting class at a Christian college and took some classes on child psychology. I even worked in a day care for a while and I considered myself to be a well educated, well rounded, well prepared mother. Then the teenage years hit and absolutely nothing I learned in the past prepared me for the experience of dealing with a rebellious teenage son. It was like going into battle every day, never knowing what I’d have to deal with before the day was over. Finally, he is 19 and past all that. He is still dealing with the consequences of some of his choices, but he is on the right track. Sometimes I hear my words come out of his mouth and I have to take a moment to realize that he may finally be growing up. He’s not there yet, but there is hope. There is always hope as long as we trust in God and believe that He will work through us as we raise our kids. I always prayed “Help me to be the mother he needs me to be. Work through me so that I can trust my own decisions.” It’s easy to think about the mistakes we may have made as parents, but trusting God can eliminate the guilt.
Accept the responsibilities of being a parent…So often nowadays parents don’t take responsibility the way they should…Being a parent doesn’t mean being a friend…Being a parent doesn’t mean letting them do whatever they want thinking they will love you more for it…Being a parent doesn’t mean taking a back seat in bringing your child up the right way…It’s about love and teaching and leading by example…If more parents took a postive, active role in their kids’ lives then the world would be a better place.
I have not children but I do realize that a child does has feelings too.
I was once a child and had parents. We all were at one time.
Also thanks for the photos. Yankton is where some of my cousins live too.
Have A GREAT Week!
Blessings,
“Susie” :0)
#3. Even in the church sometimes this is lax. There are times when I see kids running unsupervised throughout the church. We now have a slot in our worship folder that tells parents to not let their kids roam unsupervised. Boundaries aren’t set. As a kid, I knew exactly where the boundaries were, and I paid the consequenses, as I should, for crossing those boundaries.
I’m not a parent, and don’t claim to know anything about it. I speak from what I remember as a child, and what I will be when and if the time comes for me to be a parent.
When my kids were little we focused on a value a month. It was fun and helped them grow. It opened conversation about values. I started with the book Teaching your childern values, but also used the boyscout values. We still talk about values all the time. We notice how differtent people have different value systems.
RYC: I can see where you are coming from. Our problem stems from the fact that they are running around during the service, when they should be in the service. Hanging and being with friends after service. That’s fine. I guess I should have put that disclaimer in from the get go.
All the comments are interesting. I think I would modify #1 to “Realize your child is not YOU.” And I would modify #2 to “Realize that your child has the same feelings you have, but may not feel them the same way you do.” #3 is right on. Plus, there does need to be a disclaimer at the beginning saying that all children are born sinners, with an inherent disposition to rebel against parental authority.
I think number one is the most pushed aside/neglected. I’ve seen some parents put standards on kids that are almost impossible for them to live up to. I like what waiting said…”realize your child is not YOU.”