November 22, 2007

• Happy Thanksgiving

  
   

  

                       

  What Turkeys Need To Know But Don't
  
  1. By limiting your corn intake to 175 kernels a day, you can lose
  thirteen pounds or three hours baking time, whatever the case may be.
  2. There is no such thing as the friendly ax-man.
  3. Hiding inside old Jack-O-Lanterns never works.
  4. Running helps you lose weight, but you will never fly, ever.
  5. Stop writing to Benjamin Franklin; he's dead, and you lost that
  National symbol argument long ago.
  6. No one buys the "you can't eat a turkey with glasses routine."
  7. If anyone asks you about your drumstick size, be afraid; be very
  afraid.
  8. Sweet corn meal is NOT low in calories. Stop eating it.
  9. Pretending to be "just a chicken" is not very smart.
  10. If there are not pigs or geese on your farm, you should probably
  worry about Christmas as well.
  

  • 7:33 am
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