October 8, 2009
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Mom’s
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
‘If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.’
2. My mother taught me: RELIGION .
‘You better pray that will come out of the carpet.’
3. My mother taught me: TIME TRAVEL .
‘If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!’
4. My mother taught me: LOGIC .
‘Because I said so, that’s why.’
5. My mother taught me: MORE LOGIC .
‘If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.’
6. My mother=2 0taught me: FORESIGHT .
‘Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.’
7. My mother taught me: IRONY
‘Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.’
8. My mother ta ught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
‘Shut your mouth and eat your supper.’
9. My mother taught me: CONTORTIONISM .
‘Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!’
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
‘You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.’
11. My mother taught me: WEATHER .
‘This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.’
12. My mother taught me: HYPOCRISY .
‘If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!’
13. My mother taught me: THE CIRCLE OF LIFE .
‘I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.’
1 4. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
‘Stop acting like your father!’
15. My mother taught me: ENVY .
‘There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonder ful parents like you do.’
16. M y mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
‘Just wait until we get home.’
17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING .
‘You are going to get it when you get home!’
18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE .
‘If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.’
19. My mother taught me: ESP .
‘Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?’
20. My mother taught me: HUMOR.
‘When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.’
21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
‘If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.’
22. My mother taught me: GENETICS.
‘I swear you’re just like your father.’
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
‘Shut that d oor behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?’
24. My mother taught me: WISDOM
‘When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.’
25. And my favorite: My MOTHER TAUGHT ME ABOUT JUSTICE
‘One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!
Comments (3)
I’ve seen this before and isn’ it the truth -I love it.
One has to be careful with #25. It will come back and bite one in the fanny. I know! I cursed two of my boys with it. They have children JUST like them.
LOL ~ those are pretty cool!!!!