August 22, 2011
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Consumers
Last night in my leadership group we discussed what to do with people that want to use up your time but won’t change. These people are called “consumers”. I have some consumers in my life but I keep a close boundary on them. I don’t allow them to just call me anytime they want. They are very needy. I was just discussing this subject with someone I know. He told me that he had someone in his life that uses him all the time for rides.
What would you do in this senario?
How do you respond to the “consumers” in your life?
Do you give in to consumers so you don’t feel bad?Family: adoption – We start the process today
Word of the Day: objurgation
Psalms: 27:14Family Feud Question:
Comments (8)
Yes, I’ve been there with this. Found out the same person was also calling 1/2 a dozen other people with the very same “problems”. Obviously I was only enabling her to be needy and annoying. She never heeding any advice. I gently limited my availability to her. Her main “problem” was she needed attention, that was in my mind her major problem. Sound hard hearted? I equated it to no longer giving drugs to an addict but giving her some positive attention eased my situation with her.
Good topic.
I noticed that needy people don’t really notice me, they notice all the things they can get from me.
Luckily, I don’t have to deal with much of them in my life. I have one friend who I usually give rides to because he doesn’t have a car (or a car to use since his parents work). However, like traditional Chinese people, he has shame built into him and he felt bad so he compensated by paying for my gas.
Its very important in life to know when to say “no”. Lots of people confuse the art of helping others with the art of being over submissive and being stepped on.
There is an excellent book on the subject, although the term “consumer” is not in it. I don’t have it anymore, but I still have the study guide for group discussion based on the book, Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. It helped me to understand that I don’t have to agree to everything that is asked of me, and that it is OK to say “No” in some situations. I don’t think I have “consumers” in my life right now, but I would not give in to them to avoid feeling bad. I agree with The_Eyes_Of_Painter. ~~Blessings ‘n Cheers
@The_Eyes_Of_A_Painter - Exactly. I agree.
Sometimes we just have to say ‘no’. It’s important to know the difference between encouragement/help and enabling.
Dealing with consumers, give and take important to create win-win situation.