May 28, 2007

  • Happy Memorial Day
    Navy
    Today's Cartoon
    Army
    Today's Cartoon
    Marines
    Today's Cartoon
    Air Force
    457th Cartoon  
     

    Recruit Training

    In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military services, Congress has approved the following changes to basic principles of recruit training:

    HAIRCUTS:

    Marines: Heads will be shaved.
    Army: Stylish flat-top’s for all recruits.
    Navy: No haircut standard.
    Air Force: Complete makeovers as seen on the Jenny Jones show.

    TRAINING HOURS:

    Marines: Reveille at 0500, train until 2000.
    Army: Reveille at 0600, train until 1900.
    Navy: Get out of bed at 0900, train until 1100, lunch until 1300, train until 1600.
    Air Force: Awaken at 1000, breakfast in bed, train from 1100 to 1200, lunch at 1200, train from 1300 to 1400, nap at 1400, awaken from nap at 1500, training ceases at 1500.

    MEALS:

    Marines: Meals, Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day.
    Army: One hot meal, 2 MRE’s.
    Navy: 3 hot meals.
    Air Force: Catered meals prepared by the Galloping Gourmet, Julia Child, and Wolfgang Puck and Emeril Lagasse.  All you can eat.

    LEAVE and LIBERTY:

    Marines: None.
    Army: 4 hours a week.
    Navy: 2 days a week.
    Air Force: For every four hours of training, recruits will receive eight hours of leave and liberty.

    PROTOCOL:

    Marines: Will address all officers as “Sir,” and refer to the rank of all enlisted members when speaking to them (i.e., Sgt. Smith).
    Army: Will address all officers as “Sir,” unless they are friends, and will call all enlisted personnel “Sarge.”
    Navy: Will address all officers as “Skipper,” and all enlisted personnel as “Chief.”
    Air Force: All Air Force personnel shall be on a first name basis with each other.

    DECORATIONS/AWARDS:

    Marines: Medals and badges are awarded for acts of gallantry and bravery only.
    Army: Medals and badges are awarded for every bullet fired, hand grenade thrown, fitness test passed, and bed made.
    Navy: Will have ships’ engineers make medals for them as desired.
    Air Force: Will be issued all medals and badges, as they will most likely be awarded them at some point early in their careers anyway.

    CAMOUFLAGE UNIFORMS:

    Marines: Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.
    A
    rmy: Will wear it anytime, anywhere.
    Navy: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not camouflage you on a ship. (Ship Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.)
    Air Force: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons and colorful squadron patches all over them.

    CAREER FIELDS:

    Marines: All Marines shall be considered riflemen first and foremost.
    Army: It doesn’t matter, all career fields promote to E-8 in first enlistment anyway.
    Navy: Nobody knows. The Navy is still trying figure out what sailors in the ABH, SMC, BNC and BSN rates do anyway.
    Air Force: Every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow them to leave the service early to go on to higher paying civilian jobs.

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    –USAF reactions to this event follow:

    AETC: The purpose is to familiarize the chicken with road-crossing procedures.  Road-crossing should be performed only between the hours of sunset and sunrise. Solo chickens must have at least three miles of visibility and a safety observer.

    Spec Ops: The chicken crossed at a 90 degree angle to avoid prolonged exposure to a line of communication. To achieve maximum surprise, the chicken should have performed this maneuver at night using NVGs, preferably near a road bend in a valley.

    Command Post:   What chicken?

    Tower:The chicken was instructed to hold short of the road. This road-incursion incident was reported in a Hazardous Chicken Road-Crossing Report (HCRCR). Please re-emphasize that chickens are required to read back all hold short instructions.

    C-130 crewmember: Just put it in back and let’s go.

    Fighter dude:Look, dude, that was the frag, OK? I’ve flown my 1.0 for the day and I ain’t got time for anymore questions!

    B-1 crew: Missed the whole show–we had an IFE so we couldn’t get out to see it; You’ll have to ask the SOF.

    Congress: The chicken will do anything to get the C-17 and the F-22.

    Why did the Pheasant cross the road?
    To get to the middle.   (On the way back home I hit a pheasant that was in the middle of the road – I felt bad – Feathers went all over the place. )

Comments (15)

  • GREAT post, Randy.

  • Interesting information.

  • This was GREAT!!  Really enjoyed it…very interesting!!  

  • I am curious….where did you get this information from?  I know men and women in all those forces that would give a very serious argument on the listed information about recruit training.  A son in the Air Force, a nephew in the Marines, his brother in the Navy and friends in the Army would never agree with that.  NEVER. 

  • GrapiesWordsofWisdom – It was never meant as Fact – It was meant as funny   – Can I say “Chill Out” respectfully? 

  • Hey, thanks Randy.  I didn’t know you were just ‘funning’ about the recruits.  I am glad you cleared that up.  We are all proud of our military men and I guess I know that we pray them home…alive and well.

  • LOL, the first part was oh so true…..

    I weared camo when I was in the navy though, we were required, cause we didn’t do boats

  • that is cute and I think I would like the air force best if that were true. My dad and son are army and brother was in the Marines(I like the navy marinedress uniforms best) I guess you would have to be in the service to really laugh at that last one but being in the medical field for 30yrs I could change who said what and it would be hilarious!

  • cute cartoons and a great tribute to our service men :)   happy memorial day!!!!

  • I guess it’s a good idea to go into the Air Force.

  • Aw.. poor pheasant.

  • Hi Randy, the moon is lovely tonight!….I learned much from this post…especially liked the meals section…yeah, I’d join the Air Force! 

  • RYC:  If you call major spring cleaning special…well, then    Didn’t have to clean any pheasant feathers, tho!

  • LOL!  Excellant post!!!!!!!  I especially love the “keep up the good work” comment…..I must remember that one – LOL!

  • Pretty funny and interesting at the same time.

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