May 9, 2008

• Mothers

  MOTHERS SAID:
  
  Funny fictional quotes from mothers in history…

  PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER: “I don’t care where you think you have to go,
  young man. Midnight is past your curfew!”
  
  MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY’S MOTHER: “I don’t mind you having a
  garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?”
  
  MONA LISA’S MOTHER: “After all that money your father and I spent on
  braces, Mona, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?”
  
  HUMPTY DUMPTY’S MOTHER: “Humpty, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told
  you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to
  me? Noooo!”
  
  COLUMBUS’ MOTHER: “I don’t care what you’ve discovered, Christopher.
  You still could have written!”
  
  BABE RUTH’S MOTHER: “Babe, how many times have I told you–quit
  playing ball in the house! That’s the third broken window this
  week!”
  
  MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER: “Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other
  children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off
  the ceiling?”
  
  NAPOLEON’S MOTHER: “All right, Napoleon. If you aren’t hiding your
  report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and
  prove it!”
  
  CUSTER’S MOTHER: “Now, George, remember what I told you–don’t go
  biting off more than you can chew!”
  
  ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER: “Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can’t
  you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”
  
  BARNEY’S MOTHER: “I realize strained plums are your favorite,
  Barney, but you’re starting to look a little purple.”
  
  MARY’S MOTHER: “I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school,
  Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.”
  
  BATMAN’S MOTHER: “It’s a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how
  much the insurance is going to be?”
  
  GOLDILOCKS’ MOTHER: “I’ve got a bill here for a busted chair from
  the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?”
  
  LITTLE MISS MUFFET’S MOTHER: “Well, all I’ve got to say is if you
  don’t get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there’ll be
  a lot more spiders around here!”
  
  ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: “But, Albert, it’s your senior picture.
  Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse,
  something…?”
  
  GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER: “The next time I catch you throwing
  money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!”
  
  JONAH’S MOTHER: “That’s a nice story, but now tell me where you’ve
  really been for the last three days.”
  
  SUPERMAN’S MOTHER: “Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and
  we’ve decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you
  quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?”
  
  THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: “Of course I’m proud that you invented the
  electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to
  bed!”

  • 2:34 pm
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