February 10, 2011
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How would you react?
I got one of those phone calls last night. -a parent. Her child did not get something that she wanted. This girl has been pestering me for several weeks about getting something after class. I’ve up to last night ignored her. She wasn’t listening to my instructions and followed me out of the room begging for a certain prize. I raised my voice and told her no and why do you keep on asking. That’s it. Well the Mom called and said her daughter asked nice. (And apparently that makes it ok to beg). The mother told me that if I have a problem with her daughter then I should come to her. At that I said, OK I’m coming to you now. I began to inform the mother on how her daughter was begging. The mother then told me that her daughter would never do that. I did tell the mother that I shouldn’t of raised my voice. At that she became really emboldened and began taking pot shots at me. She stopped when I reminded her that she had a lot of weaknesses; would she like it if I began listing all of em. It ended shortly after that. I think the conversation ended ok. But it really stirred me up and I rehearsed in my mind a lot.
How would you react to such a situation?
We should never be feckless in our conversations.
Comments (26)
I would have done what you did. I’m sure you pointed out that the girl wasn’t following the instructions which to me is really the root of the problem.
Obviously standing my ground and calmly making it clear to the Mother what the sitaution was.
I agree with standing your ground. The more we do for some people the more they demand more. God bless your teaching moments with the children! Not easy to be a teacher.
Thanks for visiting my site. As a former educator I had to deal with similar situations. Some parents’ defense of their children actually contribute to the problems the children have. The child was putlling her mother’s chain and the mother was falling into that trap. It is difficult to change the parent’s or child’s mind, but standing firm and not giving in was the right approach.
@C_L_O_G - Did point that out, but the mom didn’t want to hear that. Her daughter follows directions at home it must of been just me.
@Margo73 - I wish I could of done it calmly. -usually but not last night.
@mcbery - You’re right about that. My Pastor calls it the Wall Mart generation. You enter a church to get something. Get it and leave. It’s what is expected.
@Dominie - Thanks for the advice. I’ve found that when I do go parents about their child, they refuse to believe it. Working with children would be great if it weren’t for the parents.-lol
@Randy7777 -
That doesn’t surprise me at all.
@C_L_O_G - Some people are so predictable.
I think we all have our faults and failings but that was not the issue here, the mother was rude and out of place to talk to you in that way, whatever happened to respect!!
@andreasiscrazy - I personally hate any conflict being resolved on the phone. People say things on a phone they would never say face to face.
@Randy7777 -
yes I agree with you, she should never have spoken that way in the first place, I am glad it was sorted out!
@andreasiscrazy - Hopefully – She’s the biggest gossip I’ve ever seen – so we’ll see -lol
The Walmart Generation. I like that. It reminds me of how many EXPECT the church to help them out of binds even though the only time they enter the church is if they are IN a bind.
@Kowpatty - I’m in charge of benevolence at my church. I have a lot of people asking for help that doesn’t go to church. I quit asking them why because I always get the same answer, “We’re planning on going now.” Right – They never come back.
I would do the same thing. It’s a shame that a lot of parents would just give just to have their children shut up and not bother them. They don’t know that they are feeding an insatiable greed and the longer they do that, the harder it will be to break it later on.
The best you can do is simply explain what was going on. I’m surprised that the mother had the audacity to call you!
@laytexduckie - You’re right. After I visited Nigeria, Africa I began to see just how spoiled American children were. It’s sad.
@TheCheshireGrins - If you knew her you wouldn’t be surprised -lol
That is a toughie. The reality is that there are some people with whom you cannot reason. This mother sounds like one of them. These people will turn your words against you, so unfortunately, an apology may cause them to attack you. Since nothing you say will appease them, you might as well stand your ground against them and refuse to be bullied by them. I like that you held your ground with your reply. Reading this makes me think that mine might have been something like: “It’s obvious that you are not willing to listen to me when I tell you about the situation. This conversation is accomplishing nothing except to attack me and needs to end. I am leaving now. Goodbye.” I also agree that parents, such as this one who think their child can do no wrong, contribute to the child’s inappropriate expectations and behavior.
Thanks for visiting me and for commenting. ~~Blessings, Prayers ‘n Cheers
@DonnaLou - Good advice – thanks. She’s already calling other people and complaining. She’s bent on causing trouble.
@Randy7777 - That’s sad, Randy. We can only hope that the people she calls know that she is a troublemaker and will not pay attention to her. I have no doubt it’ll get back to you. Prayers. Here’s another book on this same problem of people who tear others down.. It was written by the same Psychologist/Pastor who developed The Stephen Series/Stephen Ministry. The book is “Antagonists in the Church: How to Identify and Deal with Destructive Conflict.” Kenneth C. Haugk, It was published by Augsburg Publishing (Now Augsburg Fortress) in MN. Copyright, 1988.
Poor kid was spoiled. Such a shame.
@DonnaLou - Thanks
@WondersCafe - So True