May 30, 2011
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Birth Order
I tend to find out a lot about a person when I find out about their birth order. I am the oldest in my family. I have 2 other brothers and 1 sister. My wife is the oldest in her family.
Here are some characteristics of a first born:- Being right, controlling often important.
- May respond to birth of second child by feeling unloved and neglected.
- Strives to keep or regain parents’ attention through conformity. If this failed, chooses to misbehave.
- May develop competent, responsible behavior or become very discouraged.
- Strives to protect and help others.
- Strives to please.
I itentify with these and struggle to not fall completely into the same. If I have to work with someone that is also a “first” born we may bunt heads.
Here is a web site to see birth orderWhat birth order are you?
What are some of your characteristics?Psalms 22:23
Word of the Day- Jorum
I plan on using a jorum when I drink my soda today.
Family Feud Question: Name a country that begins with “A”If I was a holiday I would be _________________. Why?
I loved hearing your “What if I was a facial expression”. You had some great answers.Family: http://kallislife.blogspot.com/
A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. -Aristotle, philosopher (384-322 BCE)
Comments (47)
I’m the oldest child. Most the time I am very confident. I hesitate to ask for help even when I need it.
I don’t know. It is difficult for me to list my characteristics.
“The middle child often seems to have the most negative impressions of his lot in life. One approach to help middle children reframe things is to point out that in a sense they have the best of both worlds. They are the youngest to the older sibling and the oldest to the younger sibling. Therefore they are both a big brother/sister and a little brother/sister. Younger children always want to be able to do the things older siblings are allowed to do. And older siblings may feel that the younger siblings get away with things they were not able to when they were the same age.”
I am the middle child of 5. Is it any wonder I call myself Lucy or Ethel? As a child always too young or always too old. LOL Conflicting personalities for sure that’s me.
Country beginning with “A” has to be America! I like the Aristotle quote.
Your site is very entertaining. Have a nice Memorial Day.
Yes. This is all my older sister.
I’m the second oldest of eight with an older brother. I have many traits of the first born in that I was the oldest girl and given many responsibilities at a young age and was expected to fulfill them by a demanding and controlling mother. I have developed a “competent and responsible” personality and have strong care-giver tendencies, however I don’t have the controlling aspect of my personality after consciously rejected it. I am a pleaser, and my strength lies in helping, (but not a follower)than a leader. I’m also a problem solver and organizer. I like to develop ideas, but then get bored with implementing them. I’m a planner.
@Jewelbeetle - Thank you. You had a big family.
@C_L_O_G - I’m like that also – I don’t like to ask for help. Thank God for GPS systems now I have a reason not to stop and ask for directions -lol
@Lucy_or_Ethel - I have a son that is a middle child. He’s going through something. Your advice will help me. I’ll point out to him that he has the best of both worlds. -thanks
@nyclegodesi24 - LOL
I am the oldest of 7. I have 2 brothers by mom and dad, 3 half sisters and 1 half brother by dad. I never felt I had to compete for attention. I always got my way pretty much lol. Those characteristics you described are spot on. I am always striving to help, please and protect others.
FFQ: Argentina.
I’m somewhere near the bottom. I can’t say for sure exactly which number I am because my mother wasn’t the best at keeping track of how many times she was pregnant – long story – Out of my 8 known living siblings I’m number 7. However we weren’t together our whole lives but only in random stretches of time. I probably either don’t fit into any birth order box or possibly have little pieces of all of them.
Hmmm. After reading the article about birth order, I’m not sure I agree with it. It says the eldest will either behave very well or misbehave. ?? There really are only 2 options with that, so that’s a no-brainer. Growing up, I was one of 6. Very few of those characteristics applied. I have 3 children and I don’t see a lot of those characteristics in them either. All are very decisive. All know that they are loved beyond belief. They love each other and are very close. I don’t know that birth order defines you as much as your upbringing.
I’m the 2nd. of three. Thankfully my oldest sister lives in Vegas though she still tries to run my youngest sister’s life from afar.
Your description of an oldest born, pretty much describes the way I am. And I’m the second child. Adopted too.
@armnatmom – Do you have a lot of age diFference from the first born?
@The_Eyes_Of_A_Painter – that’s funny. I personnally don’t have any time to run any ones life other than my own -lol
@Emme402 – thanks
@tsh44 – that does make it more difficult to figure out. Thanks
@boricua_chic_2008 – thanks.
FF: Armenia (or Albania, or Azerbaijan, or Afghanistan).
I’m a middle child in my adoptive family (exactly in the middle) and a middle-towards-the-end in my bio family.
My internet’s been dead for like a day… that’s why I’ve missed your entries. lol.
I’m actually the first born in my family, buttt I don’t remember my reaction to any of my four siblings being born. LOL. I know I’m the favorite, though! ;] lol jk… kinda.
If I was a holiday, I’d be Sukkot!
Because it’s funnn even though I’ve never been able to do it because nobody else in the family will celebrate it with me! oh well.
Second born and middle child along with my younger brother. There are four of us (older brother, younger brother and youngest sister). I am very organized and like for things to be ‘right’. I’m creative and though I like for people to be happy, I am extremely honest and don’t mind conflict if it’s about doing the right thing/things being right/etc. Growing up I was ‘mother like’ to my siblings. Even today, I’m the one that helps out my parents when needed, organizes ‘get togethers’ etc. I also felt/feel I need to prove myself worthy, crave encouragement/compliments and enjoy others being grateful for who I am and what I do.
Well I’m the middle and 2nd born child. But I’m not like the description whatsoever. It might have to do with the fact that I’m the only girl, so I get more attention than my brothers . . .
I’m the first born. The only thing about those characteristics that didn’t describe me was that I don’t feel that I’m too much of a people-pleaser.
I’m the oldest. I have a sister who is 1 year 9 months younger, one sister who is 13 years younger and a half sister who is 23 years younger.
True: Being right, False: controlling often important.
False: May respond to birth of second child by feeling unloved and neglected.
False: Strives to keep or regain parents’ attention through conformity. If this failed, chooses to misbehave.
True: May develop competent, responsible behavior or become very discouraged.
True: Strives to protect and help others.
False: Strives to please.
I’m an INTJ so I don’t think I strive to please anyone. lol
Family Feud: Angola
If I were a holiday I would be St. Patrick’s Day because people can’t seem to grasp that all green-eyed redheads aren’t Irish! People look at me and think “IRISH”. Okay, so I am Irish but not because I have red hair! I get my red hair from the German side of my family. Europeans always act a bit scared of me and ask if I’m German. I look German. (My eyes come from my Irish side, but still I look German.)
I’m second born for my mom and first born for my dad so I guess I’m just mixed up.
Algeria
Good Friday… and i’m not sure why.
@NightlyDreams - Aren’t we all a little mixed up? -lol
@T0m03 - Thanks
@blessedheartbeat - You a “Daddy’s Girl”? more attention than brothers – LOL
@TiredSoVeryTired - Looks like 50-50 – thanks
@stephensmustang - I’d love to run into more people that are “extremely honest”. That seems to be rare.
@soullightsky - Thanks – What is Sukkot? I’m curious
@hevcoh - Interesting you listed both families. We’ve adopted 5 children. A few of them are in contact with their bio families.
@Randy7777 - Sukkot is the Feast of Booths, haha. One of the holy feasts of Scripture. (:
I was the first, and I also have a younger brother. Since we’re only about a year and a half apart, we usually did most things together when we were younger, although we also fought a lot and I have to say that I was the bossier one.
Fast forward sixteen years, and my mom had my half-sister. Since we are so far apart, I think I have matured enough to not become jealous although I was at first, but I do realize my mom will experience new things with her that she never experienced with me previously, since I didn’t live with her after sixth grade. I can’t identify with all of the above characteristics, but I can be protective and bossy sometimes.
Country: Australia
Afghanistan, Andorra are what come to mind.
@Randy7777 - rare and gets us into trouble sometimes. lol.
@TiredSoVeryTired - The red hair characteristic, which has become an Irish stereotype, is from another nationality. The red hair trait came from the “Norse” people who lived for a time in Ireland. My maternal grandmother’s ancesters came to US from Germany. Some members of her family had red hair.
@DonnaLou - Yeah, though I like to joke I got my red hair from my Neanderthal ancestors. hehe
I’m first born and an only child for about 13 years. My parents divorced and both of them had children with others. As a result, I did feel neglected, abandoned by both parents, for quite awhile. Although I don’t feel that so much anymore, I decided to order a book from Acts International site (http://www.actsweb.org) about dealing with father neglect or abandonment.
Throughout my life, I think several characteristics would fit, but I’ve changed some of them: 1) I tended to be controlling until I realized that this was not good for me or my relationship with others. I learned that I can’t control everyone or certain situations. The AA Serenity Prayer is very meaningful to me. 3) Doesn’t really fit. 4) I think I’ve developed competent, responsible behavior. 5) I like to please or protect others, but not always. It depends on the situation. I don’t think it’s good to go too far with that characteristic.
~~Blessings, Prayers ‘n Cheers
@TiredSoVeryTired - Correction, it was my paternal Grandmother’s ancestery.
@Randy7777 - so true
I’m an only child. I can’t live with other people, I know that.
Family Feud: Argentina.
If I were a holiday, I would be Halloween! It’s my favorite. Dressing up is so much fun.
@Randy7777 - Haha well both parents love me and spoil me? But I’m not as selfish as one would expect. I love my parents and my brothers so much <3
im an only child. i dont’ know how to share and im a big ninny
The the oldest. But I don’t feel I have a lot of the characteristics of an oldest. I’m not much of a leader, and I’m not really the conforming type. I’m creative and musical and I perform onstage.
But I do know a lot of firstborns who do act like firstborns. I’m in a band, and everyone in the band is a firstborn except one, who’s the youngest. And he’s very obviously the youngest: life of the party type who likes to tease everyone.
This is tricky for me. In the family I grew up in, I’m in the middle. Number two of five. My older sister got pregnant and married when I was 14 so from 14 on, I was the oldest at home. I tend to have characteristics of both the middle child and the oldest child. I tend to be a perfectionist and a caretaker, but I’m also a mediator and very non confrontational. I love the birth order book by Kevin Leman.
I have a friend who theorized that birth order characteristics were more accurate based on genetics than actual family dynamic. I don’t know if I agree with that or not. If you go by dna, I’m my mother’s 2nd child, but my father’s first. ha.
@bethro78 – yes. I like anything Kevin Leyman writes